A Day To Remember - This Is The House That Doubt Built

I know it's not very interesting at all, but it's the music and lyrics I'm focusing on. Listen to the lyrics. This is where I got the quote for the following post.

"Let's believe that if we all stand together, we're a force that can shake the whole world."

I believe it. I think I always have.

But it'll never happen.

Too many people in the world who don't care, who never will, who watch the world go by and change for them. The ones who never take the first step to progression. Who stay in the same place, drowning in their own misery and depression. The ones who look outside each morning and think, "Fuck, why am I still here."

They don't see the beauty, the possibilities, the happiness.

There are so many things they could do.

Why wouldn't you?

I wake up each day wanting it to happen. I want to see where I take myself. Who I see, who I spend time with, what I think, what I do, how I spend my time, etc. I'm ready for any obstacles that overtake me because I believe in myself to get over it.

I'm anxious to see what songs go through my head and what dreams become of me.

I want to see what each day looks like.

I want each day to come. So many things can happen.

They're missing out. They really are.

Yellowcard - Only One

All Time Low- Painting Flowers.

I freaking love All Time Low.

Christmas Dance.

The feeling just doesn't go away.

It's lasted almost 24 hours now.

Whenever I think about it, the same butterflies flutter in my stomach.

It was my first dance with a boy. I couldn't stop looking at him.

He's just a friend, yet my stomach wouldn't stop flipping, my eyes wouldn't wander away from his face, and I couldn't stop smiling.

The feeling of his warm hands on my waist and my arms around his neck feels so good.

Comforting.

And it doesn't go away.

But why is it that I slow danced with two other friends, yet it wasn't as amazing as the first?

Why didn't I have butterflies with them?

Why was it only the first?

And why, only, do I keep thinking of the dance with him?

I couldn't stop smiling yesterday.

It's like everything made me happy and no matter what, there was a smile on my face.

All because of a preppie.

Yes, a preppie.

I'm not too fond of the preppies, but this one... I think this one's alright.

For now.

In reading, we had to sit boy, girl, boy, girl, etc., and I wasn't expecting anyone to sit by me. At least not anyone who hangs out with the bitches.

Anyways.

He did. And he talked to me. He joked around, messed up my paper (a sign of flirting), let me peer edit his, and acted like we've been friends forever.

He sits by me in math, too, and he's always talking to me. I usually ask him for help on the homework or class assignment... and now he's doing it too. He's usually the only one who knows what goes on in that class.

I'm kind of flattered.

I don't know why, but I like talking to him.

I like how he includes me and doesn't act like he doesn't know me.

Or thinks he's better than me.

And it seems to me he's talking to me more everyday.

Plus we both won "prettiest eyes" for our class superlatives.

I keep finding myself wanting him to talk to me... wanting him to sit by me... wanting him to come to school... waiting and waiting for him to walk in the classroom doors (we're in all the same core classes)... NOT wanting him to go up to the high school in the afternoon....

Way to screw up my feelings all over again.

Keeping the hope alive.

I'm in love with everything in the world right now.

Every person I see.

Every leaf that falls.

Every doorknob I place my hand on.

Just everything.

Today has been great.

Not just because I was with my best friends most of the day, not just because I sat by someone entertaining at church today, but because the 2 people who definitely affected my life in a way came back.

Who cares if it was their aunt's profile on Facebook.

I accepted the friend request this time, and knew it was them, since it was the 2nd time it's happened.

And here's the best part.

They commented on my status.

"Got first place in my 100 butterfly at the swim meet today :)"

"awesome job megan this is from mike and zac"

Ahhhhh. These are the most kind-of words they've kind-of said to me since March.

This day is fantastic.

They say when you put yourself down, or keep thinking you won't be able to do something, then you won't.

They say when you have confidence and have a positive attitude, you'll achieve anything.

Why is it that it always works opposite for me?

I was determined to make it to districts today at the swim meet, and what do you know, I was 4 seconds off.

I thought I was going to die and get last place for my 100 butterfly, and what do you know, I got 1st.

I don't even know how to end this pointless post.

So you always talk about how much you hate them, yet you were with them all night?

I don't care if it was a couple nights ago, it's still bugging the crap out of me. You took freaking pictures with them. You even made those bitches laugh. Now, sure, they probably have a good side.

Heck no. Not the one I'm thinking of.

"Ian, you always talk about how you're against them and that you hate them."

"Well that was before I meant them."

Wow.

What the hell?

Seriously?

At least you haven't really talked to them all that much in the past few days.

Let's keep it that way.