May 14, 2010

Looks like getting over him is impossible.
He hugged her. He freaking hugged her.
Right in front of me.
And to think I thought him talking to other girls was bad. But hugging? My heart collapsed.
Those 3 months we were together will never leave my mind.
I can feel all of his actions drill a hole in my heart. And no matter what happens to help fill that hole, a scar will remain. That scar, no matter how unnoticeable or private, will always be there.
"You never forget your first love."
--The Notebook.
I'm beginning to feel true love. I didn't know it was this powerful, this strong, until it just disappeared.
That boy. That damn boy. Why? Why?
He's a jerk. Insecure. Annoying. Rude.
Or am I just saying that because I'm angry?
He's sweet. Caring. Loyal. (for the most part)
I believe he is a mixture of all of them; the compliments outweighing the insults.
Of course.
Back to the hugging.
That girl. That slut. That idiot trying to steal my.... my... nobody. But still. It should've been me.
Whenever he has any contact with any female, and I catch it, I feel like 100 pounds of misery was dumped on me. But why? For God's sake, WHY?
So many questions asked. All questions unanswered.
I'll keep searching. Searching within me.
The answer's always inside you, right?
Just gotta keep looking, and never give up.